3:06 p.m.-2004-07-13 | Hatred is a strong, yet well deserving word
I read her diary today and it made me sick. That she is so involved in her self pity...wah wah wah. poor me. all the time. She is all that she thinks about. Lately I've missed her. It's hard letting go of someone that you though would be there forever. I never expected things to be this way. That you could just walk right by me without a word, just checking to see if I noticed you. Real friendship should be able to endure all the struggles, all the pain...yet you gave up so easily. Like it didn't even faze you. I wish things were different but then I stop and think again that nothing is worth that. She was fake-every word out of her mouth was fake. She was never a true friend. She's a poser. I hear the things she says about me and it makes me hate her lying ass even more. I try not to bother her...I try to forget her. Yet I can't talk to anyone without wondering what they're really thinking of me b/c of her. I hate her with everything inside of me.
Mom has been unbearable lately. And with all the other stress going on...I'm so lucky to have Kevin. I feel like I'm going crazy, yet he's the only thing keeping me stable. He makes me so unbelevably happy. Like no one has ever made me feel before. I'm so lucky.
why do i bother??? who hears me...*sigh later days
Jamie
...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...