11:06 a.m.-2004-04-18 | 4/20 in 2 days


Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a "pretty" person...the ones that get all the guys, have all the friends and have....everything. Do you think they're really happy? Do you think they get depressed? The whole worlds a stage and I think they're the best at hiding it behind they're beautiful faces. Maybe it's better to be a loser...at least I'm more real. I can show my emotions...I just wish I didn't have any.

So another day goes by and makes me grip this blade even tighter. Cutting day is coming I can feel it. Whenever I start to feel pain or become the slightest bit upset all I do is sit and contimplate ways of hurting myself. To leave yet another crimson kiss on my body. Why won't this go away? I don't want to die...I just long to bleed the pain away...

Ho w can you keep haunting my dreams when I tried to forget you so long ago...you are in my every thought, my every move...I will never escape. And the thing is...you don't even know what it is you do to me...

later days

Jamie

...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...

+latest disgrace
+all the pain
+about me
+leave a feeling
+with me
+leave a thought
+maker
+keeper