2:11 a.m.-2003-06-28 | I'll fall in love just like the rest of you...One day.
All I wanted was to love somebody...and not hafta deal with the stress of shit. I need someone here for me that I actually trust that I could also be the same for them. I want someone who is my everything as am I to him. I don't mind little arguments...but I need someone who is understanding...and someone I can understand. I want a mutually loving relationship...I want the magical "and we all lived happily ever after" storybook line. Is there really such a thing as "star-crossed lovers"? Or "soul-mates"? When will it be my turn to be in love? To feel so much for one person and have them feel the same back? Someone who I could feel comfortable around and who could express his true feelings to me so I wouldn't have to guess and hope...and wish. Everytime I feel like I can fall in love with someone...as soon as I let myself begin to fall...I get a knife stabbed through my chest as I watch that special somone laugh in my face as I lay bleeding on the ground. I always pick myself up again and let my wounds heal. But it seems the more and more this happens...the bigger the scars. When will it be my turn to feel true bliss? All I need is someone to love who will return that love...where is that certain someone. When will it be my turn to experience it all?
later days...
Jamie
...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...
