Hmm...so I've been sitting at home thinking a lot lately. I hate this... I hate being home and thinking about all this shit. All it does is make me depressed. I'm sick of pretending to be happy for everyone else's sake. Butterfly and Rainbows....MY ASS. Screw it...I'm not about to tell anyone how I really feel b/c that gets me no where so. I'd rather everyone else be happy ya know???

Yeah so I totally quit smoking dope completely. I was offered again today but I said no. I'm so proud of me!!!

The fourth of july party is tommorrow!!! (duh lol) I can't wait. Mike is coming with me.

I didn't fall asleep till 8 this morning and I woke up at 1:30. I am so tired...lol

I hate how the one of the greatest things you ever thought happened to you can just waltz out of your life w/out a care in the world. Leaving you hopeless and all alone but not caring that it gave you so much pain at all. How it can hurt you so bad and you set yourself up for it. How the one time you decide to give something a chance it backfires in your face... feeling like a thousand knives are stabbing you everywhere. I hate this. How will I ever trust anyone or anything again????

I'm sO SiCk oF ThEsE fEeLiNgS...

later days

Jamie