12:02 p.m.-2003-10-10 | try to understand what I love denying
Okay last night I went to a concert with nina and sam to dr. feelgood's. a couple of local bands from conneaut and e-wood were playing. it was okay i suppose. I hung out with tara ryan jessica and nina for a while and you know mike as there. and you know i still want to be with him...so i decided to hang out with travis. then I met some guy wayne. he was real sweet and real cute. i had fun hanging out with him and i gave him my number and shit. but of course i'm the retard that all i can think about is mike and how much i feel for him and shit and how he doesn't feel the same way...but I dunno. am i fucking stupid or something i know he doesn't feel that way towards me anymore so why not try out shit with other ppl? why do i still love him??? ugh.omg travis asked me out last night and I was like ummm....no. lol he was like please blah blah and i just told him i felt we were too good of friends and shit. that came outta no where..
I just feel real stupid right now for being attached to someone who doesn't feel that way for me. loving someone who doesn't love you back totally sucks...blah fuck it.
I hafta work tonight at 5:30. joy. today is going to suck i can tell. i'm just...blah. w/e.
The candles burn but it's still too dark, I have given up so it's not worth trying, I'll face the truth when I think I can, Try to understand what I love denying...RA
later days
Jamie
