Speaking to the atmosphere no one's here and I fall into myself..

9:46 a.m.-2003-06-14 | Done poking smot

Holy shit...I don't think I'm ever smoking pot again. I was so fucked up yesterday. Then Jill and me went to the mall and I saw Matt there. I was so fucked up...I wanted to talk to him, but I knew I couldn't being that stoned. Fuck it...I woke up this morning feeling like complete shit. It could possibly also be b/c I haven't been eating latley...but I can't help it. I have no appetite. Oh man I feel like shit. I am here by done smoking pot...for real.

So back to the whole mall thingy...it sucked major balls. I miss Matt a lot so seeing him yesterday sucked as well. But all I want is for us to be friends, ya know? Cuz I know that's all he wants.

So anyhow...my mother is being unbearable. She just adds to all the other fucking shit in my life. I want nothing more than to get away from her for real. I want to get away from everything...ya know? FUCK THE BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE.

sigh...all I want is to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?

later days...

Jamie

Fuck everything...

...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...