I feel like complete shit. I really liked him a lot. I couldn't believe how much I felt. I hadn't felt like that since Bobby, and with Matt it was ten times better than bobby. And why was I dumped you ask? Because he's trying to protect himself from being hurt. But he doesn't realize I would do anything for him...I would never hurt him. I'm not like every other girl he's been with, I wouldn't do the things those girls did. I really care for him.

I am so sick of the shit in my life. I am done giving a fuck about anything. I cared about matt, look what happened. why should i care any longer? all everybody does is walk all over me anyhow. well fuck them, i'm done trying. I'd rather be alone this feel this pain. It will always end up like this so why should i make an effort with anything? Why does anything really matter anyhow?

I just want to be feeling something other than this pain...I just want it to go away...

Fuck my life...I could die tommorrow and give less a fuck...

Jamie