So anyhow. I was thinking some today. See, adults always say that our teenage years are the best years of our lives. Yet we spend the duration of it finding who we are and what we want we really want out of our lives. Which is a confusing and complicated process. So how can they say to enjoy these years while we still have them if we're depressed and confused through most of it? Then by the time we finally realize what we want out of life and are no longer confused by our hidden identities...it's too damn late. This is oh so confusing to me. So I decided, fuck the bullshit that confuses me and makes me depressed. I'm gonna try to do what I know I'd regret later if I didn't. I'm gonna try to be happy and have as much fun as I can until my "golden" years are over. I just wish I could figure out who the hell I really am so it wouldn't be so difficult. But I guess anything worth while has to be made difficult. I'm not sure if that all make sense...kinda more mindless rambling from me at 2:21 in the morning. But I'm just kinda thinking... can't help it
So anyhow. Jessica and me went to the mall today. Yippee...or not lol. I used to be a fucking mall rat that loved the fucking mall. But now it just sucks big balls. New management... ugh. But the cool thing was I got to see Joey and Timmy. I haven't hung out with them in forever and I miss them a lot. I'm suppossed to call Joey sometime and I told Timmy to drive over and visit me sometime. I wish I wouldn't have gotten caught that night with Matt. So many things are different now b/c of that. I hardly talk to any of the ppl I used to anymore since I don't got to the parties or anything and everyone stopped going to the mall cuz it sux.
Anyhow...My mother decided to stop being a controlling bitch for one night and let me do something on Saturday. Nina, Amanda and me are going to our friend Kelly's b-day party then leaving to go to concert/party at Bert's, then going to back to Kelly's to stay the night. That's right everyone...my mother is letting me stay the night somewhere again. *gasps OH NO!!! lol. Yeah Mike and me are suppossed to hang out...that'll be real cool. I'm hoping Matt doesn't go though b/c I know that no matter how much I act like his presence doesn't bother me...it will. I don't get why I still give a fuck, but I can't help it I do. But back to hanging out with Mike. I'm really glad we're friends again and talking and all that shit. He's changed a lot. I dunno, I'm not a big believer on ppl changing...but he has in a good way. It's almost like Matt and Mike switched places. lol. Someone said that a couple of days ago...hmmm. Don't understand what's going on at all...
I thought I said I was done with guys...didn't want to start talking to anybody cuz all guys do is screw me over. So much for that eh?
Okay, I don't get why ppl don't stand up for themselves and shit. I was talking to my firend Nolan today and he was saying how he never does. I just don't get that mind set at all. I guess it's cuz I've always bee one of the most opinionated ppl I've ever known. Which I'm sure is in some way a characteristic flaw but I can't help it. If I have something to say I'm gonna say it. I realize it's cuz my parents never wanted to hear what I had to say so I felt like I had to say it...sorta like to prove something to them. That I was strong and had something to say so I had the right ot say it or something. So I always express my opinion now and will stand up for what I belive in. I don't get why anyone wouldn't ya know? But then again if you think about how fucked up our world would be if everyone was in the mind set. It would be complete chaos. Every one person trying to yell over the next to get their point across...I guess we need people who don't always express their opinion so they'll listen to us headstrong ones. lol.
I realize that I am totally just wasting your time with this babble. All I'm doing is typing down shit and thinking about it...but prolly not making much sense to anyone but myself... lol
Well this is a long enough entry for now lol....
later days
Jamie
ps-venting seriously just made me in a much better mood...