10:20 a.m.-2004-05-03 | I'll never stop...
I miss you more then I can handle... I stayed up thinking of you last night and as soon as I woke up...you were still there. I need you...but it's wrong right now. If only I could touch you...feel you...kiss you...I want to hold your hand and tell you I love you...but I can't. Everytime I look at you I want to tell you everything that I feel...everything inside the eats away at me more and more every day...but I can't. Because I remember the pain that came with loving you..all the tears...even blood. I just need you as my friend...I need you here for me..as bad as I need you as more...that's all I can have. But I love you more than anything. I always have and I always will. I can never stop loving my first love...and that is why I'm left with this unbearable pain...I love you and you know who you are
later days
Jamie
...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...
