1:33 a.m.-2003-09-07 | I'm on the outside and I'm looking in...


Nina-I'm sorry that you feel that way. I do want to hang out with you hunny. And I feel like a horrible friend for not thinking of you and how hard this whole doug thing is on you. I'm sorry we couldn't stop over today, but I did want to be with you. You are my best friend and I care about you and love you with all my heart. I'm so sorry I've been a shitty friend lately and not been there for you as much as I could. I love you and don't want you to feel alone. Your pain is my pain. I just want you to be happy. No more tears ok? You are never alone...b/c you know no matter what happens you always have me. Your my "blood" sister. No one could ever change that. I'm so sorry hun. Smile for me...

So Mike and I are cool now. I told him if he ever cheated on me I would kill him and he apologized again and promosed me it would never happen again. I hope I can trust that. B/c I do care for him alot...and I like him so much. I just feel stupid for staying with him after what he did to me. I don't deserve that shit. But he only gets one more chance so it'll be cool.

So I had to go to the hospital last night. I have a cyst on my ovary. And I was real dehydrated so they had to hook my up to iv's. oww :( But at least the cyst isn't that bad. They said it would "flush" (lol my mother's lingo) out with my next period. That's good at least. I bet you it's gonna hurt like a bitch though. ugh.

So Tara came and picked me up today and we got ready and looked all good in skirts then went to mike's. It was Ryan's b-day. So then we went to the mall and went to see American Wedding. It was real good. Then we went to Chris's, then back to my house.

I'm waiting for Tara to get back so I can have my chicken quesidilla from taco bell. <3 yum...so hungry.

Tommorrow is ryan's b-day party so tara and me are going over there at like 2:30. fun fun.

So I'm in a pretty good mood tonight for once. yah. lol. :)

Inside you're ugly, ugly like me...

later days

Jamie

...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...

+latest disgrace
+all the pain
+about me
+leave a feeling
+with me
+leave a thought
+maker
+keeper