I sit here all alone waiting for you. Just to talk to you, make you laugh. I would love just to touch you. Have you hold me in your arms...even for just a night. Just one more night with you. Maybe you would stop haunting my every move. Maybe you wouldn't be in my every thought. Just talk to me...remind me why we're running around in circles. The same rhetorical question replaying in my head. Why, why, WHY??? I need to know the answer so I can find a peace of mind. Anything so I can get rid of these horrible dreams. Just make this pain go away...this lasting heartache. Heal me...help me. I just need to talk to you. It reminds me that this is the way it is...the way it should be. Why can't my heart do what my head tells it to?

Some nice ramblings for you. Like I said before I've been turning to stupid solutions (if you catch my drift) lately which makes me think. Not only think but remember a lot of times that I tried to forget. And almost did. It makes me sad...where is my life going? I seemed to have screwed it up enough. I now know it's true...You never realize what you have until it's gone. I would do anything to relive the past year of my life. Change some things that I did and regret, do the things I used to all the time, be with the same group of friends...relive some good moments. Why do I hate my life so much now? I just see it only getting worse from here. Yay for me.

If only someone would call me, talk to me...anything. I can't sit here alone all night. The silence is closing in on me...

I wish I could tell you all that I'm happy. If you asked me I probably would tell you that I was...but the truth is I'm not. I'm more broken then before and I can't fix this on my own. I just wish someone noticed...someone cared enough to help me. But I suppose that's my fault since I shove everyone away...that's what my Mother says anyhow. It's just whenever I've tried to open up to someone...they didn't listen. So I bottle it all up...the only problem is it's about to explode and I don't know if I can take it this time...

"Little angel go away come again some other day. Devil has my ear today I'll never hear a word you say."-A Perfect Circle

later days

Jamie