So "Loser" was a real dick to me today. I found out from "Dildo" (another code name) that Loser never is still the asshole he was before. I can't explain too much into. Let's just say he never cared about me...and prolly still doesn't. Fuck it...what else can I do? I set myself up for it.

I talked to "Dick" on the internet last night and I guess he believes me now that I never cheated on him or w/e. However you wanna put that. I'm gald...I hated being accussed of something I woulda never done to him. I told him that I missed him still and evn though I can't help it I still have feelings for him. It took a lot for me to admit that to him. I'm not good at expressing my emotions... Anyhow. Then we talked on the phone tonight and it was pretty nice. It was easy to talk to him again...I miss it.

Hmm...what to write. Of course I can't continue with how I really feel bout that whole sitution with "Dick" but ya know...ask me if ya really wanna know. Or the situation with "Loser". I wish I could express how I feel about things in here. I came to the conclusion that I don't like ppl knowing how I'm really feeling b/c I think that sets myself up for the fall. Ya know? Like that's something I need to keep to myself to protect myself or something. Dunno anymore...

So Lora, whoever else wants to come, and me are going to the beach tommorrow then to the strip...Finally get out of my house...lol. I need that bad.

So I'm blabbling and having no idea what I'm even talking about so I'm gonna go to bed...Hopefully tommorrow is better...

Please take this pain away

later days

Jamie