Speaking to the atmosphere no one's here and I fall into myself..

10:37 a.m.-2003-11-08 | still missing you

Still missing you so much b/c you had to bring "us" up again. Makes me think about you more then ever. I don't like the situation we're in right now. I want it one way or the other. Either I have you or I don't. I don't like this in between shit. Blah. zit's like no matter what I do or who I'm with I always end up back to you.

So feeling very emo lately. Lot of shit on my mind. confusing...yet very petty. w/e. feel like dying most days. suicide becoming an everyday option. maybe one day I'll stop being a pussy and do it. or maybe one day I'll be happy. who knows.

I hate listening to my pathetic whining. so I'll stop. I have to work today then ryan mike some one else and I are sposed to hang out. great fun.

So I'm going to have a well deserved cigarette and try to call nina b/c she was real upset about something last night and I'm worried about her.

later days

Jamie

...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...