11:15 a.m.-2004-08-11 | Changing subtle emotions
I would have sworn to myself that I hated her with everything inside of me. Then I read what she wrote about me and it hurts so fucking bad I can't stop these tears. I don't think she hurts over this no where nearly as bad as I do. I heard everything she said about me...even when we were friends. It's as if she never cared about me or even wanted me as a friend. Sure I screwed up but friendship, true friendship which i thought we had, is forgiving. I made one mistake in four, almost five years of friendship and she throws it away without a second glance. She lied about me to everyone, told them things I never did. I don't understand why. I tried to be the best person to her and she just hurt me. I just want to talk to her. That's all.So Kevin and I are wonderful. We were talking the other day about love. He told me he's never been in love but he feels like he's falling for me. I told him the same. I told him how he makes it feel real. God I'm so crazy over this boy.
well Kevin just showed up so I got to go. Nina if you read this please write me an e-mail or something. I was going to call you but I wasn't sure how you'd react...
later days
Jamie
...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...
