12:01 a.m.-2003-11-02 | A true friend stabs you in the front
I fucking hate people. It's crazy how your closest friends are the ones to stab you in the back. Makes you scared to even have friends. Makes you feel more alone and...stuck. By stuck I mean how it feels when you have done nothing wrong but are accused of shit that you can't change people's minds about. Kinda like when Matt accused me of kissing Michelle last year. He was going to believe I did no matter how many times I said I didn't. So I was screwed over even though in reality I did nothing at all. Stuck. Seems to be the way my life always goes. I get screwed over no matter how much I do for someone or how much I care for them. I just don't understand why I get that shit, why I deserve it when I never try to hurt anyone. God fuck them all.I'm sitting in my house home alone for the night hoping my house explodes or something like that. Just take the fucking life from me. Stop the drama, the lies, the pain. take away everything so that all that's left of me is memories. Sure a couple of people would be upset for a short while, but they would evantually forget and move on. They would be sad for not getting the chance to say goodbye but when I'm alive they could give less than two shits about me. How over-rated. It's like Death makes you loved. oxymoron. ha. w/e enough usless babbling from me. Go fuck yourselves and worrying about you fucking ignorant little demising lies that you're going to tell next. ha.
later days
...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...
