Speaking to the atmosphere no one's here and I fall into myself..

12:25 p.m.-2003-09-13 | I feel so ugly inside....

I'm sick of always hearing that I'm so beautiful or pretty or however you wanna put it from everybody when I feel so ugly. I mean it's awesome that they say it and all...makes me feel a little better about myself. But I guess it's just that I don't know what they see. And it seems to always work out that the few people I would actually want to tell me that I am most...never seem to say it. Aww..I don't know why I complain. Seriously...I'm so pathetic.

Anyhow. I have a band thing tonight from 6-9...then Tara is sposed to come pick me up and we're sposed to hang out. I dunno though, because she's working and I don't know when I'll get a chance to talk to her. hmmm...Hopefullly I'll get to see Mike tonight. I miss him a lot. Understandable, eh? Yeah well he works tommorrow so I can at least go up to the mall and see him. lol...Wendy's. Hell yeah.

Speaking of work...I have to go monday to have them fill out my work permit and as soon as I get it back, I can begin training...at Chi-chi's. whoop whoop. I wanted to work there so bad. Hell yeah. lol.

I woke up and saw that my dad came home to fix my mom's van. Then he left again, thank god. I don't want him to come back home...and this time it doesn't look like he's going to. I know it sounds wrong to say that...but it's so much better without him here.

Missing your arms around me...I just want to see you. Blah.

later days

Jamie

...immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears...